Yes, your eyes do deceive you. Madonna has never released a cover of 'The Wheels On The Bus'. Mad Donna, on the other hand, has.
Who exactly was behind Mad Donna is unclear (there's some nonsense on their background here), yet whoever it was, they had an inspired idea: to get a Madonna impersonator to sing a nursery rhyme over 'Ray Of Light'. It went a little like this:
It was released in April 2002 (by comedy dance label All Around The World, no less) - either around the height of the whole bootleg 'thing', or three years after the point 'Ray Of Light' was still ripe for parody, depending on your generosity. Regardless, it was a time when any song with just a modicum of promotion could reach the Top 40, and 'The Wheels On The Bus' duly went in like a bullet at Number 17.
This prompted a rather bizarre Top Of The Pops performance. The gimmick now had to be represented physically, and how could that be easily achieved? With a 'band' made up of four Madonna lookalikes, performing to a largely uninterested and mainly baffled crowd.
Following that the track managed another two weeks in the lower reaches of the Top 40, a fortnight that, unsurprisingly, represented the last the world was to see of Mad Donna. If you're hankering for more, there was a b-side, 'Hush Little Baby', set to 'Don't Tell Me'.
It's not as good. Anyway, as you might have noticed 'The Wheels On The Bus' didn't exactly set the wheels (!) of a lullabye-set-to-not-quite-contemporary-pop-hits fad in motion (although another Madonna appropriation, Mad'House's 'Like A Prayer', did go on to be a bigger hit later in the year). Whether that's a good or bad thing is up to you (it's a good thing), but legacy or no legacy it did get a 3/10 from Drowned In Sound, and that's two points more than Calvin Harris got for his debut album, so it's swings and roundabouts.
Showing posts with label Remembrance Monday. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Remembrance Monday. Show all posts
Wednesday, 8 February 2012
Monday, 12 September 2011
Remembrance Monday: Mattafix - Big City Life
Mattafix, in case you didn't know, were a UK duo made up of Marlon Roudette and Preetesh Hirji. Their sound was a fusion of hip hop/rap, R&B, reggae, dancehall, blues, jazz, soul and world. (Cheers Wikipedia.) Anyway, 'Big City Life' was their one and only UK hit, and was, cleverly, about life in a big city. The lyrics are all rather universalist ('People in a show; all lined in a row; we just push on by; it's funny; how hard we try', 'Don’t you ever get lonely; from time to time; don't let the system get you down') but then that's what helps people relate to them, innit? It wasn't anything revolutionary (although Mattafix apparently had some kind of political delusions), it was just a lovely, autumnal (yes, 'autumnal') song. Somewhat accordingly, it's chart success in the UK was rather limited, reaching Number 15 and spending 5 weeks in the Top 40 in August 2005. That all seems simple enough: another instance of a one (moderate) hit wonder. The full picture is actually a bit bizarre. 'Big City Life' wasn't huge in Britain but was elsewhere, hitting Number One in Austria, Germany, New Zealand, Switzerland and Italy. (Cheers Wikipedia.) Two years later, 'Living Darfur', the first single from the pair's second album, made Number 3 in Italy. As it goes, they're quite popular in mainland Europe, much like Hurts, or [Note: check Wikipedia for something funny that's popular in mainland Europe]. Best of all, Roudette, the group's singer, is the son of Cameron McVey - a producer known for his work on Massive Attack's 'Blue Lines' and both the Sugababes' and All Saints' debut albums - and the stepson of Neneh Cherry. Neneh Cherry!
Last year Mattafix split up (due to 'creative differences' or something) and Roudette is using some of the material planned for their third album as part of his own solo career, which is a bit cheeky considering a fair bit was probably written by Hirji. His first single is called 'New Age', and like 'Big City Life' is all very gentle and nice, meaning it will probably wash right over quite a lot of people. On the other hand it is, at this very moment, in the iTunes Top 10s of Switzerland and Austria, and heading the charts in Germany. Well done, Marlon Roudette.
Monday, 5 September 2011
Remembrance Monday: Blue Adonis - Disco Cop
In 1998 Blue Adonis (AKA Dirk De Boeck and Wim Perdaen) released an instrumental house track called 'Disco Cop'. Indisputably, it's an eleven out of ten kind of record, a fact of which below can be found proof. (It's a 2:45 edit which doesn't really do it full justice but still, we're all busy people etc.)
Chances are that won't have been familiar to you. On the off chance it was, it could be because you heard it used every year on ITV's Eurovision-esque Record Of The Year show. Or it could be from the opening few bars of Duffy's 'Mercy', an act of shameless misappropriation on her part that resulted in levels of bad karma sufficient to see her second album practically end her career. Or it could be from the opening few bars of Marianne Rosenberg's 'Ich Bin Wie Du', a 70s schlager hit from Germany that Blue Adonis had every right to sample. It could even be from when they took it, put some ropey diva's vocals on top (if only two words worth), made a rubbish video and sent it rocketing to Number 27 in the charts.
Or, again, in all likelihood, you might never have heard it before at all, which is fine. For the record, Blue Adonis was only one of many pseudonyms that Messrs De Boeck and Perdaen worked (and still work) under. Others include Synergy, Unison and Warriors Of Eloy, all of which sounding a bit like names for a team on The Apprentice. They're not, but they might as well be - God knows what their music sounds like. (If you really want to know then you're probably best off asking Judge Jules or something.) Regardless, 'Disco Cop' will remain amazing. Hurrah.
Chances are that won't have been familiar to you. On the off chance it was, it could be because you heard it used every year on ITV's Eurovision-esque Record Of The Year show. Or it could be from the opening few bars of Duffy's 'Mercy', an act of shameless misappropriation on her part that resulted in levels of bad karma sufficient to see her second album practically end her career. Or it could be from the opening few bars of Marianne Rosenberg's 'Ich Bin Wie Du', a 70s schlager hit from Germany that Blue Adonis had every right to sample. It could even be from when they took it, put some ropey diva's vocals on top (if only two words worth), made a rubbish video and sent it rocketing to Number 27 in the charts.
Or, again, in all likelihood, you might never have heard it before at all, which is fine. For the record, Blue Adonis was only one of many pseudonyms that Messrs De Boeck and Perdaen worked (and still work) under. Others include Synergy, Unison and Warriors Of Eloy, all of which sounding a bit like names for a team on The Apprentice. They're not, but they might as well be - God knows what their music sounds like. (If you really want to know then you're probably best off asking Judge Jules or something.) Regardless, 'Disco Cop' will remain amazing. Hurrah.
Tuesday, 30 August 2011
Remembrance Tuesday: Ana Ann - Ride
What with yesterday being a Bank Holiday in the UK, this week's Remembrance Monday comes, controversially, not on a Monday, but on a Tuesday. To be honest the whole thing is usually, via the magic of the internet, pre-recorded anyway, so it's not like this couldn't have been posted yesterday.
ANYWAY
This song is awful. Ana Ann, pictured right, in a rather fetching bin liner and string combo, could not sing. In fact, such is the implausibility of 'We Ride''s utter shitness, you might, on first listen, think it could be one of those hilarious record industry jokes played out at the public's expense, like Vanilla (whose 'No Way, No Way' was actually quite good), Scouting For Girls or Bono. In reality Ana Ann was dealing in much more Luigi Masi-ish territory - 'i', as they say, 'e', she was being bankrolled by her dad.
So yes, 'We Ride' was absolutely terrible. Have a listen for yourself:
Yes, that is the real song, and yes, that is the real video. It went into the charts like a bullet at Number 24 in February 2002, suggesting that less money was being spent on 'production' so-called 'values', and more on, well, 'hyping the charts' (perhaps).
Ana Ann was signed to LL Records, a company set up by her family, and of which she was the artist on whom the most focus was placed - basically she was the only one they had. By the time 'We Ride' had got itself onto music video channels, olden days internet people had already smelt a rat. "in her box talk (An interview given to video channel The Box) SHE SAID her family invested Money into her to buy her own record company!!! and She's the main act signed to it [sic, sic, sic etc]". Clearly, such revelations didn't stop her in her ascent to the dizzy heights of the Top 25, but perhaps, if you'll allow for some slightly unrealistic projection, were responsible, in part, for the pulling of the scheduled second single, 'I Apologise'. After that mysteriously disappeared, Ana did too.
But fear not! In early 2004 she returned, with the "Official UNICEF Song" 'Children Of The World'. Quite a coup for UNICEF, yes? Well, no. UNICEF had no knowledge of the song whatsoever. On the other hand, Ana had managed to twist David Beckham's arm into appearing in its video, so that was quite a coup for her, right? Well, again, no. Beckham (and it was the real one this time) had no idea that archive footage of him was being used in the clip, and told LL Records to remove him from the video. Oh dear, yes? Yes. 'Children Of The World' made Number 44 and that really was it for Ana Ann in the UK.
She was more popular abroad (apparently), and while her eventual album 'Cosmopolitana' failed to receive a UK release, it did appear in Germany. Seven years lather, though, little evidence of this remains, even in mainland Europe. There's still a horrendous official website, whose Flash interface is probably to be expected given that its last update was in 2006, and a similarly neglected MySpace page that reveals/makes the outlandish claim that "she has graduated from the London Guildhall with a major in International Relations and Modern languages as one of the youngest graduates in the history of this university (19 years old!)". So that's quite nice for her.
ANYWAY
This song is awful. Ana Ann, pictured right, in a rather fetching bin liner and string combo, could not sing. In fact, such is the implausibility of 'We Ride''s utter shitness, you might, on first listen, think it could be one of those hilarious record industry jokes played out at the public's expense, like Vanilla (whose 'No Way, No Way' was actually quite good), Scouting For Girls or Bono. In reality Ana Ann was dealing in much more Luigi Masi-ish territory - 'i', as they say, 'e', she was being bankrolled by her dad.So yes, 'We Ride' was absolutely terrible. Have a listen for yourself:
Yes, that is the real song, and yes, that is the real video. It went into the charts like a bullet at Number 24 in February 2002, suggesting that less money was being spent on 'production' so-called 'values', and more on, well, 'hyping the charts' (perhaps).
Ana Ann was signed to LL Records, a company set up by her family, and of which she was the artist on whom the most focus was placed - basically she was the only one they had. By the time 'We Ride' had got itself onto music video channels, olden days internet people had already smelt a rat. "in her box talk (An interview given to video channel The Box) SHE SAID her family invested Money into her to buy her own record company!!! and She's the main act signed to it [sic, sic, sic etc]". Clearly, such revelations didn't stop her in her ascent to the dizzy heights of the Top 25, but perhaps, if you'll allow for some slightly unrealistic projection, were responsible, in part, for the pulling of the scheduled second single, 'I Apologise'. After that mysteriously disappeared, Ana did too.
But fear not! In early 2004 she returned, with the "Official UNICEF Song" 'Children Of The World'. Quite a coup for UNICEF, yes? Well, no. UNICEF had no knowledge of the song whatsoever. On the other hand, Ana had managed to twist David Beckham's arm into appearing in its video, so that was quite a coup for her, right? Well, again, no. Beckham (and it was the real one this time) had no idea that archive footage of him was being used in the clip, and told LL Records to remove him from the video. Oh dear, yes? Yes. 'Children Of The World' made Number 44 and that really was it for Ana Ann in the UK.
She was more popular abroad (apparently), and while her eventual album 'Cosmopolitana' failed to receive a UK release, it did appear in Germany. Seven years lather, though, little evidence of this remains, even in mainland Europe. There's still a horrendous official website, whose Flash interface is probably to be expected given that its last update was in 2006, and a similarly neglected MySpace page that reveals/makes the outlandish claim that "she has graduated from the London Guildhall with a major in International Relations and Modern languages as one of the youngest graduates in the history of this university (19 years old!)". So that's quite nice for her.
Monday, 22 August 2011
Remembrance Monday: Fierce Girl - What Makes A Girl Fierce
Presenting a back story of troubled upbringings and a rise through London's alternative gay clubs, and offering soundbites like "Mutya is up there with Kat Slater, she's my idol, I love the girl" in adjoining interviews, Fierce Girl released their first single, 'Double Drop', in August 2004. The music was garish, the vocals essentially shouts, and it was all in all quite good. Disappointingly, it only got to Number 74 in the charts.
It would have been easy at this point to offhandedly dismiss the pair as a failed novelty act, but in February of the following the year their second single, 'What Makes A Girl Fierce', was released. Where 'Double Drop' was a bit of a noisy, glorious mess, 'What Makes A Girl Fierce' was much more of a traditionally structured song - not that this meant compromising on the group's self-described 'Council Pop' sound.
It's an ode to the kind of girls that Pilford and Oliver claimed to admire; with a pre-chorus chant of "Kat Slater is our sister" and an order to "Bring on Mutya, Mutya, Mutya she's the queen of them all" this, of course, meant 'fierce' ones.
Unfortunately, gay council estate bleepity-bloop electro rap, no matter how brilliant, was never going to attract any more than a very niche market, and 'What Makes A Girl Fierce' peaked at only Number 52, an improvement on 'Double Drop', but still low enough to leave it as an unheralded classic, and Fierce Girl as two single wonders.
Sociological bit: Some people might disagree with the implicit fetishising (and explicit: "We're scum and proud of it") of the so called 'underclass' that came with Fierce Girl, but when posh comes to chav 'What Makes A Girl Fierce' was very good indeed, and that's all that really matters, right? Right.
Following 'What Makes...' Fierce Girl sank with little trace. A third single, the oddly gloomy 'Microwave', was scrapped, but was found, along with another unreleased track, on a leaked album sampler. As was appropriate for the time, they also had a MySpace page. It was last logged into two and a half years ago but on it there can be found two other songs from 2006 - a bizarre, reflective, 'This Used To Be My Playground'-sampling ballad called 'Lager Lout Ticket Tout' and the misspelt 'Bermonsay Boys', which is a lot more in the mould of the two singles.
Six years on our protagonists are somewhat elusive. Greg Oliver is never going to be particularly easy to trace (through Google at least), and even with a name that might seem to lend itself more to detection, nor is Scott Pilfold, to whom the only references the internet seems to have are contained in old Fierce Girl articles. They could be anywhere.
Monday, 15 August 2011
Remembrance Monday: X Factor Finalists 2009 - You Are Not Alone
The X Factor is back on Saturday for an 8th (EIGTH) series, and despite what can only be described as an influx of new judges, this is no doubt a Good Thing. So what better way to celebrate than have a look at what happened to some of the X Factor contestants of yore? Well, probably a lot of ways, but for now this will have to suffice.
'You Are Not Alone' was the second X Factor charity single, and raised lots of money for Great Ormond Street Hospital - a great thing that's to be admired, unlike the song itself. It wasn't particularly good. 'But who were the people responsible for this lame Michael Jackson cover?' You're no doubt thinking. 'And where are they now?' Well, as soon as this lazy device to move the piece forward runs its course, your questions will be answered.
12th Place: Kandy Rain
Awful girl group with an awful name who somehow made their way through 'Addicted To Love', but not the first week, accumulating only 1.5% of all votes. Last year they appeared on 'Snog, Marry, Avoid'.
11th Place: Rikki Loney
Rikki was kicked off at Boot Camp the year before reaching this stage, having been initally told that he was through. The person who replaced him was Liam Payne, who himself got into the live shows the year after Rikki finally made them, not on his own, but as part of One Direction. It's all very confusing. Unfortunately for Rikki, despite gaining a second chance, no one really cared. He's currently hawking his wares as part of G*Mania, a touring Glee tribute group comprised of 10 esteemed pop luminaries including Kavanagh, Andy Scott-Lee and some others that are even less famous.
10th Place: Miss Frank
A quite good but also quite ridiculous female trio. Thrown together at Boot Camp, they decided to call themselves Frank, before adding Miss at the start, having decided that 'Frank' sounded a bit too masculine. One of them rapped in Spanish, and presumably still does - according to a reliable source (Wikipedia), she's currently in a duo called 'Scarlet Lowe' with one of the other ex Miss Frankers.
9th Place: Rachel Adedeji
With one of the better voices in the competition, and definitely the best name, 9th place was something of a disappointment for Rachel, especially after coming 1st the week before her exit. Earlier this year she released her debut single 'Follow The DJ'.
8th Place: Lucie Jones
"Over 3000 people" complained to ITV and Ofcom about Lucie's exit, claiming that it was a fix. It wasn't a fix, she was a bit boring, and is now doing things like 'Les Mis', 'modelling' and 'planning to record her debut solo album'.
7th Place: Jamie Archer
Self-styled 'rocker' who mistook 'gravelly voice' for 'croaking instead of singing'. Currently performing at a corporate event and/or racecourse near you, sometimes as part of modestly named band 'ARCHER'.
6th Place: John & Edward
Beter known as Jedward, these Irish twins were one of the biggest success stories of the year, despite having no discernible talent. They've had 3 Irish Number One singles and 2 Irish Number One albums, the first of which going 8x Platinum. And they came 8th at Eurovision. And they might be going in the Big Brother house on Thursday. The bubble will seemingly never burst.
5th Place: Lloyd Daniels
Cute 16 year old afflicted with a lack of a voice. Never mind. Currently 'working on new material' or some such nonsense, but still, 'Cor right lad(ie)s?'
4th Place: Danyl Johnson
After coming on top of Lloyd the previous week Danyl was the favourite to finish 4th, and did. By and large the public didn't like him, presumably because he was so unlikeable. Simon didn't sign him, and so his musical career never hit the heights he would have hoped for, or probably expected. Last seen in the background on ITV1's hit 'comedy' Benidorm.
3rd Place: Stacey Solomon
Excitable Stacey impressed on the show but labels weren't interested, so she went on 'I'm A Celebrity...', ate some testicles and became the face of Iceland. Suppose it follows. Recently she did sign a record deal, with 'Conehead', with whom she plans to release... A covers album.
2nd Place: Olly Murs
Who?
Winner: Joe McElderry
Joe never got the success he deserved following his win, mainly because his album was fairly rubbish and had been autotuned beyond recognition. Fear not though, he's back, having won a show where he pretended to sing opera, and will soon release his second album, full of well worn 'classics' of the Smooth FM variety. Just look at the bloody cover. Crikey.
Well that may or may not have been entertaining and/or informative.
'You Are Not Alone' was the second X Factor charity single, and raised lots of money for Great Ormond Street Hospital - a great thing that's to be admired, unlike the song itself. It wasn't particularly good. 'But who were the people responsible for this lame Michael Jackson cover?' You're no doubt thinking. 'And where are they now?' Well, as soon as this lazy device to move the piece forward runs its course, your questions will be answered.
12th Place: Kandy Rain
Awful girl group with an awful name who somehow made their way through 'Addicted To Love', but not the first week, accumulating only 1.5% of all votes. Last year they appeared on 'Snog, Marry, Avoid'.
11th Place: Rikki Loney
Rikki was kicked off at Boot Camp the year before reaching this stage, having been initally told that he was through. The person who replaced him was Liam Payne, who himself got into the live shows the year after Rikki finally made them, not on his own, but as part of One Direction. It's all very confusing. Unfortunately for Rikki, despite gaining a second chance, no one really cared. He's currently hawking his wares as part of G*Mania, a touring Glee tribute group comprised of 10 esteemed pop luminaries including Kavanagh, Andy Scott-Lee and some others that are even less famous.
10th Place: Miss Frank
A quite good but also quite ridiculous female trio. Thrown together at Boot Camp, they decided to call themselves Frank, before adding Miss at the start, having decided that 'Frank' sounded a bit too masculine. One of them rapped in Spanish, and presumably still does - according to a reliable source (Wikipedia), she's currently in a duo called 'Scarlet Lowe' with one of the other ex Miss Frankers.
9th Place: Rachel Adedeji
With one of the better voices in the competition, and definitely the best name, 9th place was something of a disappointment for Rachel, especially after coming 1st the week before her exit. Earlier this year she released her debut single 'Follow The DJ'.
8th Place: Lucie Jones
"Over 3000 people" complained to ITV and Ofcom about Lucie's exit, claiming that it was a fix. It wasn't a fix, she was a bit boring, and is now doing things like 'Les Mis', 'modelling' and 'planning to record her debut solo album'.
7th Place: Jamie Archer
Self-styled 'rocker' who mistook 'gravelly voice' for 'croaking instead of singing'. Currently performing at a corporate event and/or racecourse near you, sometimes as part of modestly named band 'ARCHER'.
6th Place: John & Edward
Beter known as Jedward, these Irish twins were one of the biggest success stories of the year, despite having no discernible talent. They've had 3 Irish Number One singles and 2 Irish Number One albums, the first of which going 8x Platinum. And they came 8th at Eurovision. And they might be going in the Big Brother house on Thursday. The bubble will seemingly never burst.
5th Place: Lloyd Daniels
Cute 16 year old afflicted with a lack of a voice. Never mind. Currently 'working on new material' or some such nonsense, but still, 'Cor right lad(ie)s?'
4th Place: Danyl Johnson
After coming on top of Lloyd the previous week Danyl was the favourite to finish 4th, and did. By and large the public didn't like him, presumably because he was so unlikeable. Simon didn't sign him, and so his musical career never hit the heights he would have hoped for, or probably expected. Last seen in the background on ITV1's hit 'comedy' Benidorm.
3rd Place: Stacey Solomon
Excitable Stacey impressed on the show but labels weren't interested, so she went on 'I'm A Celebrity...', ate some testicles and became the face of Iceland. Suppose it follows. Recently she did sign a record deal, with 'Conehead', with whom she plans to release... A covers album.
2nd Place: Olly Murs
Who?
Winner: Joe McElderry
Joe never got the success he deserved following his win, mainly because his album was fairly rubbish and had been autotuned beyond recognition. Fear not though, he's back, having won a show where he pretended to sing opera, and will soon release his second album, full of well worn 'classics' of the Smooth FM variety. Just look at the bloody cover. Crikey.
Well that may or may not have been entertaining and/or informative.
Monday, 8 August 2011
Remembrance Monday: Supersister - Coffee
On the 2nd of October 2000 All Saints released a song that was to become their fifth and final Number One: 'Black Coffee'. It was OK, but far from their best, presumably coming from William Orbit's 'maybe' pile for Madonna. Thankfully, the very same week another girl group had the ingenuity to show Shaznay and co exactly how a song about coffee should be done.
That group was Sheffield's own Supersister, whose 'Coffee' was much unlike All Saints' unsweetened attempt in that it was 3 minutes and 32 seconds full of ropey saccharin, and also at least 10 times as good. Here it is:
Supersister were comprised of 'best friends' Eleanor Phillips, Tina Peacock and the wonderfully named Louise Fudge and 'Coffee' was their debut single. It's disco for the embryonic 21st century, packed with strings and brass and all the other elements that Chic implemented to a much higher standard, and, what with the song ostensibly being about coffee, even a cod-Latin bit with references to espresso and Costa Rica. Again, it's only ostensibly about coffee; the lyrics include analogies like "I like my men like I like my coffee; hot, strong and sweet like toffee" and, by extension, metaphors like "I like my coffee with cream". (They mean semen.)
So, all in all, it was camper than a Su Pollard convention, and despite only reaching a peak of 16 was to find a significant flagbearer just under a year later in Big Brother winner Brian Dowling, who regularly sang it around the house. With his help (presumably) Supersister's belated second single was propelled to the respectable, if not exactly dizzy, heights of Number 36 that August; the group even enjoying a high profile appearance at G-A-Y with Dowling as their fourth member. Sadly, despite that, shows with Hear'Say and Steps, and Christmas light switch-ons in Birkenhead, Wrexham and Chester, the trio couldn't maintain such high levels of success, with third single, 'Summer Gonna Come Again', making only Number 51 in November. Fourth single, 'I Just Came To Dance', was never released (it ended up as an S Club 8 album track) and a planned album, 'Lip Service', was also scrapped.
So that was the end of the pop road for our three heroines. Fudge later got stuck in to a college course in order to open a hairdressing salon in Sheffield, but hasn't deserted music entirely. Earlier this year she (seemingly under a married name) provided vocals, along with Peacock, for Duane Eddy in Sheffield, which is an absolutely mental proposition, but really did happen. God knows about the other one.
That group was Sheffield's own Supersister, whose 'Coffee' was much unlike All Saints' unsweetened attempt in that it was 3 minutes and 32 seconds full of ropey saccharin, and also at least 10 times as good. Here it is:
Supersister were comprised of 'best friends' Eleanor Phillips, Tina Peacock and the wonderfully named Louise Fudge and 'Coffee' was their debut single. It's disco for the embryonic 21st century, packed with strings and brass and all the other elements that Chic implemented to a much higher standard, and, what with the song ostensibly being about coffee, even a cod-Latin bit with references to espresso and Costa Rica. Again, it's only ostensibly about coffee; the lyrics include analogies like "I like my men like I like my coffee; hot, strong and sweet like toffee" and, by extension, metaphors like "I like my coffee with cream". (They mean semen.)
So, all in all, it was camper than a Su Pollard convention, and despite only reaching a peak of 16 was to find a significant flagbearer just under a year later in Big Brother winner Brian Dowling, who regularly sang it around the house. With his help (presumably) Supersister's belated second single was propelled to the respectable, if not exactly dizzy, heights of Number 36 that August; the group even enjoying a high profile appearance at G-A-Y with Dowling as their fourth member. Sadly, despite that, shows with Hear'Say and Steps, and Christmas light switch-ons in Birkenhead, Wrexham and Chester, the trio couldn't maintain such high levels of success, with third single, 'Summer Gonna Come Again', making only Number 51 in November. Fourth single, 'I Just Came To Dance', was never released (it ended up as an S Club 8 album track) and a planned album, 'Lip Service', was also scrapped.
So that was the end of the pop road for our three heroines. Fudge later got stuck in to a college course in order to open a hairdressing salon in Sheffield, but hasn't deserted music entirely. Earlier this year she (seemingly under a married name) provided vocals, along with Peacock, for Duane Eddy in Sheffield, which is an absolutely mental proposition, but really did happen. God knows about the other one.
Monday, 1 August 2011
Remembrance Monday: Omero Mumba - Lil' Big Man
It's summer 2002 and Samantha Mumba is a bona fide star. Over the past two years she's had five Top 10 hits - one of which going Top 5 in America - and a platinum album. The only problem is that she hasn't released anything since last Christmas, and although her second album will surely be just as, if not more, successful than her first, there's currently a bit of a dearth of Mumba in pop. It's a gap that has to be filled. 'I wonder if any of Samantha's family are similarly musically talented', thinks someone at Polydor. 'Everyone loves a bit of Mumba, so perhaps we could find another one to plug the gap while she's away.' What a genius idea.
Step into the breach one Omero Mumba, Samantha's 13 year old brother, who fancied himself as a bit of rapper. No one was going to tell him he wasn't very good, but what did that matter anyway? This was going to be the start of a great pop dynasty. The Mumbas could easily be the next Jacksons, or, at the very least, the next Five Star. All that was needed was a debut single that would capture Britain's hearts and minds, just as Samantha had.
'Lil' Big Man' was that single. Or at least it was supposed to be. An oddly celebratory affair for a first release, it featured Omero rapping about "MCing shows with 'N Sync" and being "all up in the movie screen" (He was also afforded the privilege of featuring in a remake of 'The Time Machine' with his sister.) Despite revelling in the trappings of his sudden fame, there was also time for reflection on its pitfalls. At the end of the day, Omero was still only "the kid that be bubblin' from Dublin" who was ultimately "scared of missing out on my childhood", which is quite a sad lyric really. Throw in some contemporary references ("Surely looking good though like 3LW", "Shake your bon bon") and you have a surefire hit. A surefire Number 42 hit, to be precise.
So unfortunately Omero couldn't replicate his sister's success. In fact, neither could she. Her second album never came out and she instead turned to acting, or to give it its proper title, 'acting', starring in blockbusters like 'Johnny Was' with Vinnie Jones, Lennox Lewis (!) and Roger Daltrey (!!). She has flirted with a return to music, least notably in 2009, when she featured on Bruneian popstar Hill's single 'Stay In The Middle'. The video for 'Stay In The Middle' was directed by Omero, and won the third place award for 'Most Mindblowing Video' at the Asia Pacific Voice Independent Music Awards. So that's something to be proud of. If YouTube comments are anything to go by - and conventional wisdom suggests they are - 'directing' is now Omero's trade, although there are no signs of him having actually directed anything other than that video. On the plus side he's apparently in LA and is still only 22, so there is definitely time for him to make his name yet.
Step into the breach one Omero Mumba, Samantha's 13 year old brother, who fancied himself as a bit of rapper. No one was going to tell him he wasn't very good, but what did that matter anyway? This was going to be the start of a great pop dynasty. The Mumbas could easily be the next Jacksons, or, at the very least, the next Five Star. All that was needed was a debut single that would capture Britain's hearts and minds, just as Samantha had.
'Lil' Big Man' was that single. Or at least it was supposed to be. An oddly celebratory affair for a first release, it featured Omero rapping about "MCing shows with 'N Sync" and being "all up in the movie screen" (He was also afforded the privilege of featuring in a remake of 'The Time Machine' with his sister.) Despite revelling in the trappings of his sudden fame, there was also time for reflection on its pitfalls. At the end of the day, Omero was still only "the kid that be bubblin' from Dublin" who was ultimately "scared of missing out on my childhood", which is quite a sad lyric really. Throw in some contemporary references ("Surely looking good though like 3LW", "Shake your bon bon") and you have a surefire hit. A surefire Number 42 hit, to be precise.
So unfortunately Omero couldn't replicate his sister's success. In fact, neither could she. Her second album never came out and she instead turned to acting, or to give it its proper title, 'acting', starring in blockbusters like 'Johnny Was' with Vinnie Jones, Lennox Lewis (!) and Roger Daltrey (!!). She has flirted with a return to music, least notably in 2009, when she featured on Bruneian popstar Hill's single 'Stay In The Middle'. The video for 'Stay In The Middle' was directed by Omero, and won the third place award for 'Most Mindblowing Video' at the Asia Pacific Voice Independent Music Awards. So that's something to be proud of. If YouTube comments are anything to go by - and conventional wisdom suggests they are - 'directing' is now Omero's trade, although there are no signs of him having actually directed anything other than that video. On the plus side he's apparently in LA and is still only 22, so there is definitely time for him to make his name yet.
Monday, 25 July 2011
Remembrance Monday: Leilani - Madness Thing
"In 1999", you tell your grandkids, "there was a singer called Leilani who wore goggles on her head, a bit like the Crazy Frog." Your grandchildren are looking at you disdainfully. "And I remember she had this song where she said something like 'When your boyfriend comes home early; to find you sucking on a Curly Wurly; don’t you just hate the madness of it all?'" By now they look worried. "She was on all the kids programmes, CD:UK, Top Of The Pops; she did quite well for herself for a while." Your grandchildren haven't even heard of Top of The Pops, never mind CD:UK. The men in white coats are on their way. God knows why you're even telling them this, it's not like they asked to be lectured on obscure 90s popstars.
So basically you're a bit odd, but you've raised an interesting topic: Leilani. Leilani was this woman:
Leilani was briefly signed to Trevor Horn's ZTT at the end of the 90s and during her time as a popstar delivered one of the most incredible Top 20 singles of all time, the appropriately titled 'Madness Thing'.
The song, as you correctly remembered, contained the line "And when your boyfriend comes home early; to find you sucking on a Curly Wurly; don’t you just hate the madness of it all?" Which is mental. This being 1999, Leilani was presented as a jolly, colourful kiddiepop singer in the same mold as Lolly. Here she is on TOTP, performing on CD:UK and on 'Hype' (?).Where Lolly performed anodyne covers of 'Mickey' and the like, though, Leilani was pushing pop's boundaries. In a way. Another sample lyric from 'Madness Thing': "When your baby’s just been born; when the nun has just been shorn; don’t you just love the madness of it all?" These are rather outlandish lyrics for a time when beige, desecrative monstrosities like this could go Top 5. They might not make any sense, but they are definitely outlandish and nonetheless Leilani should be celebrated for it. As she would say herself, "When your boobies are too small; and when your boyfriend is too tall; don’t you just hate the madness of it all?"
Sadly, despite her position as a children's TV staple, 'Madness Thing' entered and peaked at only Number 19 and follow up 'Do You Want Me' only managed to reach Number 40. On the plus side, she did go on tour with Boyzone, if this interview with a slightly camp Ben Shephard is anything to go by. Another revelation from that interview is that she managed to complete her album, which, although seemingly in the possession of some people on the internet, was never officially released.
So what's she doing now? These people don't seem to know and this person doesn't know much either. She's either a very nomadic celebrity or, perhaps, as this person suggests, she's back working at the Happy Shopper that employed her before her success :(.
So basically you're a bit odd, but you've raised an interesting topic: Leilani. Leilani was this woman:
Leilani was briefly signed to Trevor Horn's ZTT at the end of the 90s and during her time as a popstar delivered one of the most incredible Top 20 singles of all time, the appropriately titled 'Madness Thing'.
The song, as you correctly remembered, contained the line "And when your boyfriend comes home early; to find you sucking on a Curly Wurly; don’t you just hate the madness of it all?" Which is mental. This being 1999, Leilani was presented as a jolly, colourful kiddiepop singer in the same mold as Lolly. Here she is on TOTP, performing on CD:UK and on 'Hype' (?).Where Lolly performed anodyne covers of 'Mickey' and the like, though, Leilani was pushing pop's boundaries. In a way. Another sample lyric from 'Madness Thing': "When your baby’s just been born; when the nun has just been shorn; don’t you just love the madness of it all?" These are rather outlandish lyrics for a time when beige, desecrative monstrosities like this could go Top 5. They might not make any sense, but they are definitely outlandish and nonetheless Leilani should be celebrated for it. As she would say herself, "When your boobies are too small; and when your boyfriend is too tall; don’t you just hate the madness of it all?"
Forward to about 2:15 to see the video
Sadly, despite her position as a children's TV staple, 'Madness Thing' entered and peaked at only Number 19 and follow up 'Do You Want Me' only managed to reach Number 40. On the plus side, she did go on tour with Boyzone, if this interview with a slightly camp Ben Shephard is anything to go by. Another revelation from that interview is that she managed to complete her album, which, although seemingly in the possession of some people on the internet, was never officially released.
So what's she doing now? These people don't seem to know and this person doesn't know much either. She's either a very nomadic celebrity or, perhaps, as this person suggests, she's back working at the Happy Shopper that employed her before her success :(.
Monday, 18 July 2011
Remembrance Monday: Scent - Up & Down
In 2004, Scent released a single called 'Up & Down'. It was very good, but no one bought it.
The group were essentially a studio project for Italian producers Andrea Mazzali, Giuliano Orlandi and Daniele Davoli (the latter having previously been part of Black Box), three people who may be pictured above left. They should be, because that picture was stolen from Discogs, although it could be a picture of anybody. Even if it is them you'll have to take your pick of three from the four as to which ones they are. Above right definitely is Mandy D'Arcy AKA Miss Motif, an Irish DJ discovered by Davoli and Paul Oakenfold on a beer-sponsored club tour. Davoli was "blown away" by the vocals she performed over the top of her set, inviting her to sing for Scent.
The song itself, as established above, was amazing. It's a gentle pop-house track about the life of a girl who "plays hard through the night" in "the game of up and down". The lyrics are a little bit confusing overall, but there you go (come to think of it, they might actually be about The Sex! 'Naughty'.) Motif sounds a bit like a less plummy Sophie Ellis-Bextor on it and does some lovely 'la la la's throughout. There's siren noises and a spooky breakdown near the end - "From life's path you stray; your dreams will show you the way; time will take your fears away-ay-ay-ay etc." - before more siren noises and 'la la la's. Again, if you actually think about the lyrics you'll end up scratching your head, but it doesn't matter because the song is otherwise unimpeachable (or brilliant, at least.)
So, naturally, the public, faced with a fantastic piece of music that was being given regular radio and TV play, bought it in their tens, Scending it (ho ho ho) to Number 23 in the same week, coincidentally, as 3 Of A Kind went to Number One.
Miss Motif, true to the ice queen popstar type character she was posited as in the video (again, not unlike Sophie Ellis-Bextor), didn't let this phase her. She's continued as a DJ lady and as a faceless session singer on a variety of Italian dance records, without ever reaching the same lofty heights she did with Scent. The producers, too, are all still working, under a variety of different pseudonyms, also with little commercial success.
Here is the 'Addicted To Love'-esque video.
Monday, 11 July 2011
Remembrance Monday: 3 Of A Kind - Baby Cakes
Essentially a proto-N-Dubz, 3 Of A Kind are perhaps the epitome of One Hit Wonder. That is to say they had one hit single - a big, Number One hit single - and then vanished.
From left to right in the above picture are Marc Portelli AKA Marky P, Liana Caruana AKA Mz Tipzta and Nicholas Gallante AKA Devine MC. Crazy names, crazy guys. Together they produced 'Baby Cakes', a song they described as a "summer-soaked, sultry slice of up-tempo 2-step". So basically it was shit. Not that that held them back.
Miraculously, something about the track connected with the record buying public - admittedly not a very large group of people, with this being summer 2004 - selling 55,000 copies in its week of release and therefore beating Real Music deities The Libertines to Number One. The unintentionally hilarious video, with its terrible puns, unsubtle misogyny and shots of Marky P enjoying platefuls of cake was a favourite on the music channels. By Christmas it had sold 230,000 copies, making it the 12th best selling single of the year. The group itself, however, had already sunk without trace. A follow up, 'Wink One Eye' (with the endearing lyric "I feel aroused like I'm around Girls Aloud") was mooted, but never released, thus ending the 3 Of A Kind story.
...Or so you might think. A Google search for 'Nicholas Gallante' pulls up his Twitter page as the first hit. It's there that he trumpets "BACK IN THE STUDIO WITH 3 OF A KIND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" On their Twitter, 3 Of A Kind proudly state that they are "best known for our 2004 #1 hit Baby Cakes. The members are Liana Caruana(Miz Tipzta) Nicholas Gallante(Mc Devine) & WE ARE BACK." It's all very exciting. Except for one thing. Where's Marky P? Surely it's a fundamental flaw for a band called 3 Of A Kind to have only two members. Perhaps, as they did with the problem of 'Baby Cakes'' monumental shitness, they'll plough on regardless. In fact: "SOON COMING GUYS NEW SONG FROM 3 OF A KIND - Look out for smokemachine"
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