Friday, 27 January 2012

15 Things About This Week's UK Top 40*

*Well, the midweek Chart Update at least.
  1. The One Direction single sounds like a mix of Danish Eurovision entry and local radio advert jingle. It's an imprecise science that gives good results.
  2. There are only two songs in the Top 10 that are about The Club. Both are by Flo Rida.
  3. In fact, the chart is very diverse at the moment: Rihanna has three songs in the Top 40, One Direction and Professor Green have two. Lana Del Rey has two in the Top 20 and both Flo Rida and Sia (!) have two in the Top 10
  4. Furthermore, two of the Top 12 ('Good Feeling' and 'Levels') are based on the same song, the singer of which is at Number 30 with a different one. Blimey.
  5. As Rizzle Kicks pointed out, 'Lloyd' is a rather odd name for a male popstar. Probably the least showbiz to hit the chart since 'Eamon'.
  6. 'Gotye', on the other hand, is an amazing name.
  7. The average length of time each song has spent in the Top 200 is 11.35 weeks, and in most instances haven't yet been out of the Top 40 anyway. This is quite a long time.
  8. Given that, Redlight at the lofty heights of Number 16 is a nice surprise.
  9. "You know the bed feels warmer; sleeping here alone" is one of the 592 best opening lyrics of all time. Well done Kelly Clarkson.
  10. Your mum would probably enjoy Numbers 30-21 best.
  11. Skrillex. Seriously, what a racket.
  12. Pixie Lott is going to need a lot more than a new pair of shoes to make her seem any less beige and joyless.
  13. Katy Perry has made a song that actually feels quite sincere.
  14. And there
  15. we have it.

Friday, 20 January 2012

Some Statistics From Which You Could Infer That The UK Chart Is Becoming A Closed Shop Presented With Little Comment

Admittedly the numbers go back up at the end, but there's still something of a visible trend.

Year New Entries
2001 1849
2002 2278
2003 N/A
2004 2301
2005 1710
2006 1186
2007 1349
2008 997
2009 880
2010 1021

All figures are 'courtesy of' (stolen from) chart archive site and account for the Top 200 singles chart (apart from the first two months of 2006, which extend as far as the Top 250). To be honest it'd probably better if they only went down to 40, wouldn't it.

The stats for 2011 are yet to be revealed, but you can be sure that when they are there'll be basis for a spurious and extrapolative article in The Guardian.

UPDATE: There were 952 new entries into the Top 200 in 2011.
AND AGAIN: There were 927 new entries into the Top 200 in 2012.

Thursday, 12 January 2012

A Thing About Some Songs That Were Hits In Romania Last Year

Below are some some words about some songs that were hits on the Romanian Top 100 in 2011.

Lykke Li - 'I Follow Rivers' (The Magician Remix)

It's frankly anyone's guess as to how it's happened, but 'I Follow Rivers' is the current Romanian Number One and has been for 9 (NINE) weeks, albeit in the form of a Magician remix. And that's just as well because it's better than the original. In fact it takes the best part of the original, the 'do-do-do-dada-la-de-do' that overrides the vocals in between every few lines in the verses, and elaborates on it, resulting in a fine Italoish sort of 'vibe'. 7.8/10
Peak: 1 Weeks in the Top 10: 10* (Still in Top 10)
UK Hit Potential: 2/10

Liviu Hodor - 'Sweet Love' feat Mona

Something of a triumph. "Let's fly away together; let's live this dream forever; let's dance like we're in heaven, just give me your sweet love". Generic Romanian dance then, accordion and all, but with a punch, much like the best of Inna's 'oeuvre'. Liviu Hodor is supposed to be releasing a different single, the inferior but still OK 'Happy For You', in the UK at some point this year. If that, by some small miracle, could do well, this might too. 7.7
Peak: 4 Weeks in the Top 10: 11
UK Hit Potential: 4/10

Smiley - 'Dream Girl'

Misogynistic pap from the Romanian Ed Sheeran, a singer who really puts the 'bad' into 'troubadour'. And if you think that play on words is poor, the song is worse. The titular Dream Girl has cheated on and left Smiley, who, in his fury, rhymes "sitting alone" with "drinking alcohol". "You're nothing but a whore, always ready to go", he croons. "You sold your soul for a little dough." Oh dear. 2
Peak: 1 Weeks in the Top 10: 21 (!)
UK Hit Potential: 1/10

Grasu XXL - 'Lala Song' feat Guess Who

Some Romanian hip-hop. Much like out of date sweet and sour chicken, it's a bit funky - the important difference being that it shouldn't be thrown in the bin, and nor will it give you the runs. It's brilliant, basically, but also in one of those foreign languages, so don't expect it to crossover to the UK. 7.8
Peak: 4 Weeks in the Top 10: 3*
UK Hit Potential: 1/10

Raluka - 'Out Of Your Business'

This is a bit Pixie Lottesque, especially reminiscent of 'All About Tonight'. Raluka tells of how "day and night I leave it all behind; 'cause I got my own piece of mind" and how she's "out of your business". Now these lyrics are questionable, because 'out of your business' isn't really a phrase that often crops up in English vernacular, but hey! She's bought a new pair of shoes! Could be the next Inna in the UK if a) she has more songs and b) is actually brought over here. 7
Peak: 9 Weeks in the Top 10: 4
UK Hit Potential: 4/10

Guess Who - 'Tot Mai Sus' feat Marius Moga

More Romanian hip-hop from the rapper that featured on 'Lala Song'. It's sort of like if (The Artist Formerly Know As) Frankmusik was Romanian and he featured on an equally Romanian Rizzle Kicks track, ie quite good indeed. And a fact, fact fans, the title means 'Higher'. 8
Peak: 1 Weeks in the Top 10: 23
8/10  UK Hit Potential: 1/10

Dan Balan - 'Freedom'

Dan Balan used to be in O-Zone. Last year he released an absolutely diabolical single called 'Chica Bomb' that made metaphorical waves in mainland Europe, but, aptly, 'bombed' in the UK. 'Freedom' is a massive improvement. Put simply, it's a very intense and exciting song. Dan sounds excited, the music sounds excited and together they create a tune of proportions Guetta can only dream of. That's probably not the best description in the world, but it is very exciting. 7.9
Peak: 4 Weeks in the Top 10: 10
UK Hit Potential: 5/10

Chances are not one of these songs will reach the UK chart this year (Dan Balan might be your best bet), but then you never know what might happen. 'Watch this space' etc.