What Exactly Do The Romanians Think They're Playing (At)?

Well, this, for one thing.

But that's not as important as the music they're playing. That is what this blog will investigate.

First of all, a change: it seems that while the potentially made up Charly 1300 charts might have some basis in fact, the actual official Top 100 can be found here, and so that is the one that will be used here henceforth. Hurrah. As such, the composition of this week's chart is markedly different to last week's. Not that it really matters. So:

Liviu Hodor's 'Sweet Love' (featuring Mona, of Craig McLachlan and indeed Check 1-2 fame) is up 10 places to 15, and has an accordion in it. Actually it might be a harmonica but you just never know these days. It's rather good.

At Number 29 is Play & Win's 'Ya BB'. A former Number One, Wikipedia reliably informs that it "was the most broadcasted song on the Romanian radios for 16 weeks". It's not really all that amazing, but given that they're the masterminds (or maybe just minds) behind Inna, then it'd probably be fair to let them off. But only once.

At Numbers 21 and 20 there's an Inna and Alexandra Stanwich with 'Un Momento' and 'Get Back (ASAP)'. Not overly remarkable, but what a pun hey? Actually that wouldn't be a sandwich, would it? It'd just be two slices of bread. But what bread.

'Tell Me Why', by Amna, is notable for having a beat that in parts sounds not only a bit like 'I Feel Love', but also rather oompah-ish. She's not the world's greatest singer, but she does wield both a saxophone AND an accordion. Amazing? Amazing. It's at Number 22.

Unfortunately, there's upsetting news at the top of the chart: Smiley's Number One. In fact, he's been at the top of this chart for two weeks. Something must be done. If you're reading this and you are Romanian (Blogger stats suggest that's unlikely) then please, this is your duty - do something about it. Protests at parliament, petitions to your president, whatever - Romania must be ridden of this plague.

Anyway, here is the Top 10 in full, replete with 100% accurate and hilarious assessments.

10 (11) Andra - 'Telephone' PROPERLY GREAT
9 (10) Pitbull - 'Give Me Everything' feat Ne-Yo etc NE-YO'S QUITE GOOD
8 (5) Alexinno - 'Senorita' feat Starchild BIT BORING
7 (6) Rihanna - 'Man Down' GOOD
6 (8) Lucky Man Project - 'Pumpin'' ROMANIAN PITBULL
5 (4) Dan Balan - 'Freedom' NEEDS WORK
4 (7) Pitbull - 'Rain Over Me' feat Marc Anthony A TRIUMPH
3 (3) DJ Antoine - 'Welcome To St. Tropez' feat Kalenna DEPRESSING
2 (2) Guess Who - 'Tot Mai Sus' feat Marius Moga MARVELLOUS
1 (1) 'Smiley' - 'Dream Girl' HOW HAS THIS HAPPENED

'And that', as somebody presumably says, 'is your lot'. Except... 

• Smiley has won 4 Romanian Music Awards. This may or may not have happened recently but it was probably just some kind of mistake anyway so it doesn't matter. 

• Alexandra Stan's 'Mr Saxobeat' was the last song that Liz Hurley purchased.

• And it turns out that the Inna and Alexandra Stanwich was not only devoid of any filling, but also happened not this week, but last. Apologies to all concerned.